Tuesday, December 27, 2016

On Not Buying Things For 6 Months

Cam and I realize that deep down inside we've always liked the idea of being minimalists. Something about being able to load all our earthly possessions up in a car (or a couple suitcases) and move holds immense appeal for us. 

Well in the last two years we've been living in one spot (a record for our marriage) and we've accumulated. We blame in large part; our children and the things they use in different stages and sizes. Also we now have a couch AND an oversized chair. There are now things other than coats in the coat closet (a vacuum, some folding chairs and a few umbrellas). 

Two days after Christmas last year an important thing occurred; our Amazon Prime membership was up for renewal. So we had a discussion about whether to renew it, and decided that while we had used it quite a bit while moving frequently and re-setting up our house (i.e. mattresses shipped to our door) that we didn't have a need this year, and so we would just not buy so much stuff online. And then Cameron, half jokingly added "We have too much stuff, we should just not buy anything at all this year."

Okay, but then we started to look at it seriously. I always try to buy ahead for the boys clothing AND shoe sizes when I see a good deal. We frequently do non-toy gifts for our kids (last Christmas was Aquarium tickets, matching bedsets, and books).

I tried to read a book once about a lady that went a year without buying things, but I didn't make it past April. She was a 20 something that lived in New York with her boyfriend in the summers and lived winters in a cabin in New England - her woes about ski gear and missing out on spring fashion trends were grating at best. In our life with 3 small children I had to look at it realistically; In the next year we're looking at someone growing out of a car seat, needing a new winter coat and possibly other safety and comfort items. But six months… surely we could do six months. 

Most importantly we had to ask, "why?" There are a dozen reasons that all might be good, but in order to stay focused and to know when breaking a rule might be okay, it was important that we pin down our motive. This wasn't about saving money or being more self reliant, although we recognized those as possible outcomes. This was about not acquiring "stuff". 

And so began our goal to not buy THINGS for 6 months .

RULES:
  1. We will not buy "stuff" from January 1 until July 
  2. Not included in the ban are: food and consumables such as hygiene products that we already purchase. Examples of this are dish soap, bandaids, toothpaste, paper towels, and other things that live a disposable product life (i.e. our kid's health will not suffer as a result of our experiment). 
  3. If something is to be homemade/altered/etc we should first make an effort to use materials that we already own, and should reduce the need for purchased materials as much as possible. 


In short: Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without, and if none of those work, well then as a last resort buy it because this is after all, a self-inflicted project and not actually the depression. 

THE EXPERIMENT LOG:

Everett sleeps with a noisemaker. With it he does a pretty good job of napping while the other two play wolf in the next room - when it started not working that was no longer the case. So in the middle of January when I was tempted to go buy a new one, I did something crazy instead - I took it apart. I just started unscrewing pieces and cleaning off lint as I went. I learned how the thing worked, got gunk out, put grease in, and wouldn't you know it, it works as well as new. Really I felt so empowered I also took apart our blender that was going out on us, realized it was just full of gunk too and then put it back together… but it was still weird, so Cam looked at it too and noticed a moving part was rubbing a wire, but we just hot-glued it out of the way and it's back to stay! Lesson: sometimes fixing things really isn't that hard if you try…. or have a handy husband… or hot glue. 

From January 1 all the way to February 19th we made it. Easy. That is, except for a still standing debate about whether or not hair-ties are a hygiene item (they are) and whether they are technically consumable (why else would I go through a package in a year?) and the question of whether they are essential (I'm not even going into that one). So yes, I bought hair-ties and they're not stuff, so there. 

Okay, but truly, February was a beautiful and sunny and unusually warm month for us, so we spent a lot of time outside. Wesley started riding his bike on two wheels and consequently wore right through the bottom of his tennis shoes whilst learning how to brake. I mean the entire bottom was beyond repair or toughing it out. Like I mentioned, I had shoes for him a size up… but his feet weren't big enough for those. The only footwear he had left were his red boots, and like I mentioned it was unusually warm out. On February 19th we finally broke and went out to buy (#1) a pair of thick-soled DC skater shoes that he couldn't wear down again. Note: he is still wearing them 10 months later.

The entire month of March we didn’t buy ANY STUFF. None. To be honest it was a little liberating - every time a friend would contact me via Facebook about a thing they “independently consult” I just straight up said “no” and didn’t feel guilty. The hardest moments were when a had a few minutes to kill between “this thing” and “that thing” and I would otherwise just pop in to a Target for a bit. A few times the boys and I still went into some of the cute shops downtown just because they like to look around, but understanding that we would not be buying anything.

Wesley decided that he needed more socks. We discussed that “sock season” (yes, I used that term) was coming to an end so we could wait until the fall. He still felt that he needed another pair or two, so we researched making socks. We found a tutorial for making them out of old long shirt sleeves. We made 2 pairs, and he liked doing it, but wearing them with shoes he found a little uncomfortable… so Daws acquired the socks and Wes decided to tough it out. 

The neighbor girl invited the boys to her birthday party. They made her homemade finger paints and I made her an apron/smock from my fabric stash. 

Everett’s birthday was mid-April. I had a lot of really cool plans of things that I was going to make for him, but the first two weeks of the month ended up being crazy. I made him a picture book but felt pretty lame about just that, so I broke and bought (#2) a dollar container of bubbles, which to be honest was what he really wanted. Also, Wes had to get (#3) a pair of sandals because - what the heck - unseasonably warm. Can I tell you the hardest thing about actually being in the store to buy a thing that we need? It’s not justifing other “needs” as well - it was way easier not to start down the slope.

Cam bought a thing. In April his dad talked him into a plan to catch salmon in the Columbia, trolling behind his boat. After long internal debates, Cam bought (#4) a pole so they could spend that time together… and he keeps the pole at his parent’s house so that it doesn’t add to “stuff” around here. They managed to get out on the river three times, but didn’t get any fish (yet).

Okay, so I know this was not an actual necessary purchase, but I simply couldn’t pass up. Dawson lost one of his yellow rainboots back in February or so, and I’d been making him just wear his tennis shoes… but then my neighbor across the street had a garage sale and there were an adorable pair of (#5) practically new green Wellingtons in Dawson’s size. $2. I couldn’t not do it, some things just make too much sense. I know I know, I shouldn't have gone in the first place.

My Mom’s birthday is in May. My parents were introduced to corn hole recently, so we decided to stick to the lawn games and make a ladder golf yard game. Per rule 3, we used some rope we had around, and went to our nearby golf course and had the boys find golf balls to use for the bolas. All we had to buy were the PVC pipe and connectors. 

Cameron also turned the big 30. Rather than buy a present, the boys and I wrote notes on an entire stack of post-it notes and put them on his car for him to discover when he left for work. I knew he’d be miffed if he was actually late, so while he was in the shower, I also set all the clocks in the house 5 minutes ahead so he’d have a little extra time. He loved it.

For Memorial Day we decided to go down to Silver Falls with the Cameron’s Family. We came up for dinner and stayed at their house the night before so that we wouldn’t have so much driving to do the day of. It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized I had throughly packed the children, but that I only had the pair of flip flops that I wore down. My feet are too small to borrow anyone else’s, and the hike gets slick around the falls so I ended up running to the store and got myself (#6) new tennis shoes. Besides, my old ones were dying -  and little melted on the bottom from a camping trip a few years before ;)

Our crockpot ceramic bowl cracked in the middle of June - which is actually a summer essential for me. We don’t have AC so on hot days I’ll often set up the crockpot in the garage so the house doesn’t get warmer. The bummer was it was in my plan to use it 3 times that week (why was it so crazy hot this spring?). There was nothing I could do to fix it, so we ate our salads without chicken and used the microwave or stovetop. You know what, a change of plans didn’t kill us, and we had some new skillet meals invented. Rather than go out and by a box box fan for our high 90’s week, I redoubled my diligence to cool the house down at night and keep it that way. We spent afternoons at the lake or took picnic dinners hiking in the hills. 

And last up: Wes’ birthday was just a few days before the end of our 6 month experiment. We love to go on family bike rides, but it was getting clear he was too big for his bike (also, Dawson was ready to get started on a little bike of his own). We decided to buy him a (#7) bigger bike for his birthday rather than making him wait until after his birthday (or having us do something else for his birthday and then get him a bike the next week). We decided to go with a second hand bike so we felt a little less like we splurged for him. 

CONCLUSION:

So there you have it, 6 months without buying “stuff” (except for about 7 things). Oddly enough, 4 of them were shoes. If anyone has come up with a suitable shoe-buying alternative I’m all ears. We noticed that the times we ended up buying things were because we didn’t plan ahead. Because of that, we didn’t have what we needed or time to make something that would work. 


I will admit that July 4 I finally made it to the store, and promptly dropped 70$ on a new crockpot, a box fan, and a new bicycle helmet for Dawson now that he moved up in the world to a real bike. Wes did finally get new socks in September before school started. 

But really, in the 6 months that have followed, I've found myself a little slower to rush to buy something, a little more willing to open it up a broken item and try to fix it, and I've had an easier time telling my children (and people selling things) that we don't need it. I don't know about making it a regular habit, but I think in a few years when my children are a little older we'll try it again, with them on board this time I'd love for them to learn the same lessons. 

Friday, January 1, 2016

2015: a post-dated year in review post

The thing about picking up new things to do in a day is that inevitably something falls down. This year we picked up a 5th family member and actually, quite a few other responsibilities, and it seems that one of the balls dropped has been blogging. I still didn't want to miss my annual year in review, since I use it to help me track fun things we've done and I find them so fun to go back and read. So with that, we'll head all the way back in 2015 to:

January: Started with me 6 months along with boy #3. We saw quite a few old friends; Marie and hubby, and Amy and Nate stopped through. I loaded up helping out at Wesley's Preschool so that I could be done before I got to close to my due date. I worked on a logo and some book covers for a series called Bramble Glen

February: We were in full force trying to do things before the baby came. Invitations for KayCee and Andrew's wedding, doing our plant starts, and getting outside in all weather were all top of the list. I co-hosted a "galentines" party with some new friends. My Dad's Dad passed away just a month after we celebrated his 80th birthday. Lots for family came into town and I was able to work with family members to figure out who are in the pictures in a very large picture box that he left with me to digitize. 

March: Cameron had a CE conference in Seattle, so we decided to make a weekend of it while Cam's parent's watched the boys. He went to class, I went shopping by myself! It was fabulous. My little brother stayed with us a couple weekends while my parents traveled to my sister's gymnastics meets. Dawson started nursery and LOVED it - never looked back.


April: Cameron surprised me with a planned date on my due date (he said he figured we'd need the sitter either way). Three days later, Everett was born. His chill birth was followed by his chill babyhood and I got tons of painting done as my mom took WandD to the Zoo, OMSI, and other fun places. Three days after He was born, it was announced that our ward was splitting and Cameron was asked to serve as the Elder's Quorum President.



May: Everett was blessed on the first Sunday of our new ward, and lots of family that lives nearby was able to attend. Dawson disliked the new nursery (and took until September to get him to go on his own again). Since we knew the new bishop from our previous ward, I was also asked to give a talk a couple weeks later, and to plan the first ward activity (see June). Cameron took Wesley on his first backpacking trip (Eagle Creek Trail: 9 miles round trip) which he handled like a boss, and took an epic nap when they got home the next day. Ev-rigator started being my "smiley guy."




June: My sisters got into town for KayCee's wedding, but I told them not to come over because I wasn't feeling well. When nothing changed two days later I went to the doctor and learned that I had strep throat which miraculously passed to no one. We attended, helped with, and generally looked awesome at the wedding. Cameron went rafting. The next weekend was the ward party (an old-time-baseball themed kickball game and BBQ). I was asked to serve as primary secretary. Wesley asked for a "running" theme birthday party, so Cam orchestrated a variety of races so that each child could win something and we awarded everyone a medal in true millennial fashion.



July: We headed to Loon Lake in Southern Oregon with Cam's family. The boys loved playing on the beach and staying in the cabin. Everett rocked at napping on the beach and in the cabin. We detoured to the coast on our way home which was windy and chilly and learned that there is a limit to what Ev will put up with. We got together with family at splash parks a few more times as everyone trickled back out of town.



August: We hiked in the Ape Caves at Mt. St. Helen's and crawled through petrified logs. We tripped it up to Cameron's family reunion in central Washington, where we learned how to wake surf and got to see some friends from our Seattle days. Wes helped give flyers out for the "Stuff the Bus" Drive. Cam and I watched the meteor shower.



September: Wesley started preschool (for the 3rd time) and decided to set up a vegetable stand on our street corner for things he grew in our garden. On the days Wes is at school, Dawson gets to go to my Mom's house and eat snacks and have her read him books. Dawson had a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" themed birthday party (combining his two favorite things food+books).



October: The boys and I went to the pumpkin patch with Wesley's preschool. I worked on illustrating a book as a surprise Christmas gift. Wes was excited to wear Nathan's old batman costume for Halloween even though he didn't know who that is, and Dawson was a dinosaur. We made pumpkin pie out of a real pumpkin with grandma.



November: Dawson decided to potty train himself (I can still count accidents on one hand). Cameron sang in a quartet at church. I went to Time Out For Women with my Mom. Everett started crawling. Thanksgiving was with Cameron's family, as was shopping the next morning. I made the decision to make WandD matching bedspreads for Christmas.

December: Wes was Joseph in his preschool nativity play. He also went tromping trough the North County with Dad to get a Christmas Tree in the rain.  Cam sewed the boys matching Christmas jammies and made me a tufted upholstered headboard. He also decided to reduce our sodium intake. I finished the quilts with two days to spare, in time to spend Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas day with Cam's, and meet the boy's cousin Eli H. for the first time.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

My Kids Look Great in Bow-ties

Having someone in my family getting married is awesome. It's a super happy occasion, we get to see lots of family, have a big party, and if we're lucky we even get to get our dance on. If you're immediate family then there's also pictures and lunches and all the fun that goes with planning

But I've learned that there is one relationship that gets to be blown way out of proportion at weddings, and that is being the cute toddler nephew of the bride.


I'm pretty sure they managed to be in more pictures than anyone other then the happy couple themselves.

I mean seriously, did they share a room with her for years? Why, no. 
The same full size bed in fact? Never. 
But here they are in some more pictures looking adorable in bow-ties:



(My Brother with his son and daughter on the left)

Like I said though, we always have lots of fun with our family. And we lucked out in the "dance" department.
A little dance action

A lotta dance action. 

Proof that I may not be the best looking sister, but I certainly am the funniest. 


I wanted to give a shout-out to the Fabulous Michelle of Sugar Momma's Bake Shop in Forest Grove because this cake looked and tasted FABULOUS.

Also, isn't this location just lovely? It's brand new, called Fallen Leaf Lake in Camas WA.


I also got to help out a little:
The centerpieces - a chrome-ized pvc frame with poof balls hanging from crystals for some awesome bling. 

Some cream-filled strawberries I asked to do... because yum.

And a glitterified invitation because, "she who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten." And I love doing maps. I think I'll encourage Nathan's reception in an other obscure location because they're that fun. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

A Minute in my Life

A Minute in my Life: A Photo Essay

Two boys were playing together nicely... so mom got out her camera

Dawson Noticed

And has no concept of personal space

Wes Attempts to show Daws the proper way to be photographed

Dawson tries again

Thanks Wes for your tutelage

And... it looks like that's what we'll get.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A little everyday normal

This post is more for me than anyone else: just a few things that I wanted to remember.

WES
Wes has been into the children's non-fiction section in our library recently. In the last couple months, in addition to many other things, we've gotten books on owls and eagles. He learned that baby owls are called owlets and baby eagles are eaglets. So of course in a discussion about flamingos he deduced that flamingos must be called "flamingets."

I was pretty sure that that wasn't right, but since I didn't know what they really are he wasn't about to believe me. So we went to one of the few sources he won't dismiss, which was Google (others include Grandma, Uncle Nathan, and Daniel Tiger). It turns out there is no specific name for a baby flamingo and they are just referred to as "young flamingos." Obviously that's not satisfactory so flamingets it is... add it to your dictionary.

DAWS
We've also discovered that Daws can in fact speak, but prefers to answer when possible with one of the following phrases:
  • "Yeah" said with an air of "I guess so"
  • "NO!" (because it must be yelled) most of the time this is actually his automatic response as in: "Dawson, would you like a cookie?" "NO! ... yeah."
  • "I no" (I don't know) as in: "Dawson do you love Mom?" "I no" 
  • "Me!" as in "it was me" 
  • "I do!" generally meaning "I want one too!"
  • "Oh" for pretty much everything else.
He also loves to talk about Everett "Ev-et" (which is also how he says elephant... so he might just have a new favorite animal?) But he likes to know where he is at all times, so sometimes we'll just be going about something and D will stop and say "Ev-et?" or "Baby?" and I have to be able to let him know where he is, which is usually sleeping. Of course he replies with "oh."

Daws also has a sixth sense involving food - he can hear the fridge opening or someone chewing from anywhere in the house... and comes running while pointing to his open mouth "I do!"


EVERETT
Hasn't been up to much to be honest except sleeping, which he does well and often. At least twice a day I find myself having to wake the kid up to make sure he's eating enough. He would rather play on the floor than be held, and he is seriously considering starting to smile at us.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Third Time's a Charm

I just did something that I was pretty sure was going to be epically hard. For the first day since baby #3, Cam had to work and my Mom couldn't come over. That's right, I just handled 3 kids from 8:15 am through bedtime armed with nothing but a freezer meal and the first four seasons of Daniel Tiger.

Which brings me here at 8:15pm with three kids asleep and an overdue blogpost about our new baby. Per my usual, the Cliff Notes version is in BOLD.

So there was his due date a solid two weeks ago at which point my doctor called me (generously I think) at a 1... and then there were three more days that were excruciatingly boring. Then on the fourth day I woke up feeling awesome which I was pretty sure was not a good sign, but by just a few minutes after Cameron left for work I started to notice that my contractions (which I'd had on and off for the last two months) were feeling a little more frequent and regular. I pulled out the lap timer on my phone and tried to time them, but never managed more than one before some small person or the other pulled my attention away.

I texted Cam that I thought my contractions were about 8 minutes, which means nothing since that's what they were, oh, the entire day before Dawson was born. But, I suggested and that he should probably plan to come home at lunch to avoid another Dawson story or Cam's worst fear, that this kid would be faster and he would be delivering in the car. I also called my mom who came over to watch the boys.

By the time Cam got home I wasn't in any pain, but we decided to head to the hospital (20 minutes away) a little early because we'd rather be safe than in a drainage ditch. We stopped by his office to tell them to cancel his afternoon, and joked and had a generally good time all the way to the hospital.

We arrived obviously not in enough distress because they sent me to an exam room for monitoring (the nurse said maybe a 2), and then to walk around, which we did for an hour. We came back an hour later and the contractions were not much different, so she sent us to walk again. Over the next half hour I went from a pleasant walking companion to having to stop through each contraction. The nurse checked me again, and I was at a 5. She said yikes! And that it would be 20 minutes until they could get a room ready and have the anesthesiologist there. Cameron, my super-advocate requested that as soon as we get in the room they check again. And then I was a 7. 

At that point the nurse leaned out into the hall and said, "Can I get some help in here?" Two nurses walked in and very quickly set up for a delivery. And Cam again requested the anesthesiologist (He learned his lesson last time). Who came in promptly and I did get my epidural this time! In fact it was the most perfect epidural I could have asked for; I could move but not feel anything (unlike Wesley's).

The epidural slowed everything way down and I didn't progress for the next half hour. At that point the doctor checked me and realized the reason we weren't progressing: the baby hadn't descended and he was turned a little funky. Also of note, my water hadn't broken, so they had to worry about my water breaking and having the cord get washed down and pinched off.

So rather than trying to speed things up again, I spent the next four hours turning different ways to try to get the baby to turn the right way and descend. Cam used this time to read his kindle. I may or may not have taken a nap and surfed Pinterest. Yeah, the epidural was that awesome.

At 9:30 at night the doctor decided he had descended enough that it would be safe to break my water. She did. A few minutes later I said, "I think I'm going to push now." I did. 3-4 totally easy pushes and there he was.  Seriously, easiest birth ever.


We call him Everett, he weighed just two ounces more than Dawson did but is an inch longer: skinny kid. And his brothers think he's great and they like to look at him. Dawson calls him "tiny baby," said in a little tiny voice. 

Fact: He has awesome ears. They're both like that. 

And my awesome friend Kristi made this adorable hat and shoes for him. 

And this one's for Dad's office. 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

We don't wait for the Sun


So a couple times in the last few months, I've made the mistake on a Saturday morning of asking Cam what he wants to do that day. I should know by now that the answer is always "Let's go hiking. right now." Consequently, we've found ourselves out hiking, nearly every weekend: Me in all my third-trimester glory, in the rain, and several times now on days that turned out to be sunny around lunchtime.

At this point in their lives both, Wes and Daws have exhibited strong "hiking personalities:"

Wesley's includes not wanting to go in the first place (he's quite the homebody) and then requiring that we bring a snack (for a hike of any length at any time). His favorite part is seriously where we all stop together to eat our snack. We can't bring the backpack for Daws anymore or Wes will claim exhaustion 50 feet in. He does love taking the pictures though, of every pinecone or random blade of grass that he sees.

Dawson on the other hand has earned himself the nickname "Nature Baby" (sung, like it's a theme song title) because he has to interact with nature as much as possible while on a hike. He doesn't mind holding hands for stability, but he has a need to walk about 6 inches off the trail alongside it, so that he can walk in the grass, get hit in the head with ferns, and stop frequently to stare at any and all bugs. He also compulsively collects pinecones, and has gotten pretty good at picking up a third when each hand is already busy, although more than that is usually counterproductive.

Some of our new favorite hikes are the ones along the Lewisville river, which has falls up and down it. Every time we have been so far we've seen some huge salmon trying to jump up... and generally falling back down. We finally got a pretty sweet video of it, so here it is, among pleas from Wes to have the camera so he can take pictures of the ground. About 00:54 there are even 3 at a time.

video